When dating, it is always a good idea to get to know someone over time. Slowly revealing more about yourself and letting your guard down will help you keep your boundaries in place. It will also ensure that you are thoroughly getting to know the person you are dating and that they are the right one who deserves to know the intimate parts of you. But regardless of how slow you pace yourself, there are a few things that you should be upfront about no matter what. Being honest about these aspects of yourself could help you easily vet someone in the beginning and find out if your basic relationship goals and needs align with each other. Read on to learn about these 7 things to be honest and upfront with every time.
Who you are at your most authentic self
If you have the tendency to change yourself for others, this one is definitely for you. It can be tempting to lean into the version of you that other people want you to be, but that is never going to fully fulfill you in the long run. Connections and relationships that are not honoring who you really are will eventually fall apart after you can no longer be who they thought you were. This means that from the beginning, you must be yourself as authentically as possible, no matter how other people feel about it.
Your motives and intentions
When you first begin dating someone, be very clear on what you are hoping will happen in the situation. This means being honest about your overall dating goals in general. When you are not open about what you want from people, it can come off like you are hiding something. This could make them feel like they may end up being lied to, taken advantage of or even used. And while hiding your intentions may not feel like lying, it is a form of dishonesty because it is deceptive and misleading.
What values are most important to you
Controversial topics like politics and religion may not be the first things you want to discuss when dating. But there are other core beliefs that you can talk about initially that will help you understand if you align as people. It is vital to know what is important to the other person: what makes them tick; what gets them out of bed in the morning; what makes them happy or feel fulfilled. Knowing these kinds of things will help you understand who they are at their core.
How you really feel
Telling someone how you feel can be a really hard thing to do. But being able to express yourself is one of the most important things in a relationship. Your emotions are not something you should try to run from, no matter how scary they are. This is because you have to be emotionally available and open in order to truly bond with someone. Being vulnerable with them will help them see what’s really in your heart and if they are in your heart as well.
If you are truly happy
Most of us have tried to bite our tongue when we are not happy about something. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as you have to learn to pick your battles. But if you are truly unhappy about something or with someone for a long time coming, you have to be honest about it. Even if it is something that makes you uncomfortable momentarily, it is important to speak up and make your concerns known.
When you need help
Asking for help can be difficult, especially if you are used to having to do everything on your own. But one great thing about asking for help is realizing that people will actually show up for you if you let them. Asking for help will allow you to take some burdens off your shoulders and will show you who is really in your corner when you need them most.
What makes you feel insecure
Confidence is great and something we should all strive to have in ourselves. But it is pretty common to be insecure about at least a few things. Everyone has something that makes them feel a little less sure of themselves. Being open about what makes you feel insecure can help the person you are dating be more gentle with you in those areas. They can help to remind you just how great you are, and be mindful of how they show up for you when you are having your doubts.