In their early stages, most relationships are marked by that intense infatuation that makes us feel butterflies in our stomach. However, if the couple wants to move forward and become stronger, they must move from that initial crush to a longer stage of commitment and support. Do you want to know if you are with a person who really supports you? These are 10 signs that you can count on your better half in good times and bad.
1. Celebrate your achievements
Having someone by your side who is genuinely happy for your achievements is invaluable. Your victories are their victories, and they are proud to be your partner and be able to live those good moments with you. This, even if you have to put your own ego aside. Did they give you a raise and now you earn more? Did they sign up for a marathon and you were able to finish it, but your partner couldn’t? Can you beat them at answering questions on the game show they watch every Thursday night? None of this should be a problem if you are with someone who really supports you.
2. Cry with you
When, on the other hand, things go wrong or something happens to you that makes you sad (you lost your job, a loved one died, etc.), your partner should be by your side, accompanying you and without belittling your feelings. This shows that you are a person with a strong sense of empathy that allows you to see things from the perspective of others, including pain. It’s easy to accompany someone through good times, so often the real test comes when we go through a bad time.
3. He listens to you and communicates
When you need to express something, a supportive partner listens attentively, without being distracted by their phone or television. You don’t have to feel like you need to be interesting to get their attention. You could be describing how boring your day at work was and your sweetheart should be listening. You must also be willing to communicate. A couple that communicates, debates and dialogues is more likely to be successful than one that does not talk things through well.
4. Own your mistakes
In a relationship, we are likely to make mistakes. After all, we are humans! It is important to accept that there will always be unforeseen events and things that we do not like, but it is also important to be with someone who puts their pride aside and takes responsibility when they make a mistake. And if your partner is a supportive person, he or she will do the same for you when you make the mistake. There is nothing worse than being with someone who blames others or external things for their actions, and who also does not know how to forgive others.
5. He wants you, not an expectation
When we love someone, it is normal that we always want to help them achieve their best version. But it is one thing to motivate yourself to achieve your goals in something, supporting you at every step but without pressuring you, and another is to want to change yourself to meet their own expectations of what you “should” be. Your partner must accept you, with your flaws and virtues. This is the only way he will be able to show you the support you need, when you need it, recognizing that you are your own person and that you don’t have to change anything you don’t want to change just to please him.
6. Respect your limits
One way your partner can show support is by simply respecting your boundaries, whether emotional, physical, or sexual. This means that he treats you well, doesn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you, won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, and won’t engage in physical abuse. It can also be smaller things, like acknowledging that you need time for yourself tonight and letting you take a long bath while he takes care of dinner, or avoiding making off-color jokes if he knows you don’t like them.
7. Value your friendship
That your better half understands that the relationship cannot be based 100% on romance is a good sign that you will have their support. Friendship is also an important component, so much so that there are studies that indicate that couples who are also best friends are more likely to be happy and long-lasting. They should be able to talk, laugh, and do things that go beyond what happens in the bedroom. That friendship creates a sense of camaraderie that fosters solidarity and mutual support.
8. Show commitment
One characteristic of a good partner is their unwavering commitment to their spouse. If the person next to you is not loyal to you, you will feel insecure. This is when jealousy, suspicions and fights arise. Plus, you won’t know if you can count on him for support when you need it. Therefore, a supportive partner will do everything possible to make you feel good in the relationship. This will give them a stronger foundation for their future and, by being able to talk things out with confidence, you will not be afraid of arguments (unavoidable and often necessary).
9. Show physical affection
You may be wondering what kissing you in public has to do with him supporting you. The reality is that having a partner who is not afraid to show their affection physically has many benefits for the relationship (of course, if this is something you like). Hugs, kisses, hand holding, and shoulder massages make many people feel loved, which makes them more confident in the relationship and feels like they can turn to their partner when they need it. Sometimes, the support you need is, precisely, a long hug.
10. Connects emotionally
It’s easier to trust your partner, ask for support, and communicate your wants and needs if you know they feel an emotional connection to you to do the same. When we talk about emotional connection we mean that they share feelings of love, romance, admiration and respect, so both parties can be vulnerable without fear of being judged and communicate openly and honestly. How is this emotional intimacy achieved? Counting on a couple willing to spend quality time together.