Whether a relationship is destined to last or fail depends on many variables, from character compatibility to physical attraction and even external factors. However, there are some things that long-term couples generally do that can help get things on the right track. These are 10 healthy habits that you can start applying so that your story has a “happily ever after.”
1. They strive to connect
Two of the biggest enemies of any relationship are routine and boredom. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is common for us to be on “autopilot” mode and take many things for granted. Therefore, it is important that even on the busiest days we take time to dedicate to our partner. Taking a walk, holding each other for a long time, talking and listening to each other without interruptions (like phones) are ways to develop intimacy and make those small interactions have greater weight.
2. They maintain their individuality
Here comes RuPaul’s wisdom: “If you can’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else?” Long-term couples know that to be happy they also have to be well as individuals. Making time for your self-care and interests is important because it reminds you that you are your own person. Plus, if they do absolutely everything together, what will they talk about next? Appreciating your independence will make you value your relationship even more. That space is necessary so as not to become overwhelmed.
3. They seek consensus, not winning
Long-term couples know that getting into an argument with the sole objective of being the person who is right is a waste of time and energy that does not bring anything positive. Therefore, when there is a disagreement, the objective of the conversation will mostly be to find a middle ground or compromise between the parties. To do this, both people have to be mature enough to handle their own anger and frustration, and understand that they must find a solution to move forward, not get caught up in winning.
4. They know how to apologize and do not hold grudges
This can be related a bit to the previous point. Having the ability to own up to a mistake, apologize, and accept the consequences is essential to a long-lasting relationship, as is making sure you take steps to prevent it from happening again. But, in addition, the couple has to know how to forgive and not hold grudges, because continuing to punish the other person for something that happened a year ago does not bring anything good. Therefore, it is also important to recognize what things you can really forgive. If what your partner did seems unforgivable to you, then it may be best to reevaluate your situation.
5. They use positive language
It is important to never take for granted the value that encouraging and positive words have in our relationship. Thanking your partner when they do something for you, frequently telling them that you are happy to have them in your life, avoiding derogatory comments when arguing that you might later regret, and not speaking negatively about your relationship with other people are ways to attract positive things. towards you through language.
6. They respect their differences
They say that opposites attract and perhaps that is why we sometimes see “uneven” couples. But what those who have stood the test of time have in common is that they respect their differences. Maybe you love romance movies, but your partner prefers mystery movies. Instead of fighting, they understand that they have different tastes and make the commitment to take turns when choosing. Doing this in a respectful way is healthy and will add variety to your life.
7. They set limits
You are a creature of the new age who loves the internet and wants to publish everything on your social networks. Your partner is a more reserved person who prefers to keep his life private. So if you want the relationship to last, avoid posting photos of him without his permission. This is just one example of the importance of making each person’s limits clear and respecting them. These limits can be physical, sexual, emotional or even how you spend money or how you raise your children. Having clear boundaries and respecting them will be positive for the relationship.
8. They accept (or tolerate) family and friends
This is perhaps one of the most difficult topics: you love your partner, but perhaps you are not as compatible with their friends or family. But for a relationship to work, both parties must make the effort to also maintain a relationship with the other important people in their lives. This, of course, as long as it’s not someone who mistreats you unfairly or tries to turn your partner against you. Talking to your better half is the best way to determine how far you can go and how you can cultivate a bond with these third parties.
9. They think about their partner
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, if on the way home you stop at the bakery and buy him his favorite candy, for no particular reason, you’ll show him that even after a long day at work you thought about his happiness. Did he lend you his car to run some errands? Return it to him with a full tank. Send him a text in the middle of the morning just to let him know you hope to see him at lunchtime. These are small things you can do to keep the flame of love alive.
10. They seek help if they need it
Many times, the great secret of couples who have been together for years and years is that they are willing to ask for help. Sometimes they ask for advice from family or friends, which is fine, but the ideal would always be to go to a professional: a psychologist or a couples therapist. Although a long time ago this was considered “taboo”, today it is well known that mental health is not a game, and it is often necessary for the couple to have external support for problems that they cannot solve alone. That objective view of the relationship can be a great lifesaver.